Sigh. Why do I keep torturing myself? I have never been able to leave things well enough alone. Yesterday I got online and I checked my ex-roommates profile on this site that everyone and their mother at my university seem to be well acquainted with, and quite possibly addicted to. I don't know what I was expecting to find there. The truth is, I miss her. We ended the year on a sour note, but a year has passed, and I thought I might send a message as a peace offering. I would have done that about a month or so ago when I was really moved to do it, but when I met with another ex-roommate of mine, she mentioned that she had bumped into the roommate in question not too long ago, and that my name had come up. She wouldn't really go into what was said. She promised that nothing bad was said, but still. I could just imagine her tone.

I don't understand why people hold onto petty things for so long. Life really is too short for all this unecessary drama, ya know? I mean, really people. At any rate, that issue bothers me. Before graduation, I fully intend on trying to smooth things over. I don't need to be her friend, or even really want to be. I just hate for issues to go on unresolved is all.

So anyway, today is Mr. Wonderful's birthday. And by "wonderful", I mean anything but. I thought about calling him and wishing him a happy birthday, but forget all that. A few other skeezers have beat me to it, and I will not contribute to the further inflation of his ego. It might just pop, and I don't want to be held responsible for the destruction of such. Honestly, as I picture him, heavily breathing, and clad in attire suitable for septic tank repair or a similar profession, I don't know what I was thinking by dating him. I was thinking that this girl had gone too long without dating someone, that's what it was. But never again will I stoop so low for attention or affection. It's just not worth it. I don't know why I continue to let him plague my memory. He's like a bad song- no worse. He's like cafeteria food- mystery meat, even. It looks bad, you know it is bad, but you figure, what the heck. I'll give it a whirl. My life already sucks, what could it hurt?

Well, on a brighter note, tomorrow is my first day back on the job after having the week off to battle this pesky stomach flu or whatever it was. Thankfully, it's gone, or so it appears. I just hope it doesn't make a return appearance anytime soon. Or at least until AFTER Mackinaw.

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This sucks. It really does. I will find out on Tuesday whether I will have a job at Midas. I really appreciate the lovely notice. I have submitted 5 applications to four different prospects. I hope someone calls. Sheesh. I have been away for a few days, so there is a small possibility that someone called on Saturday. I hope that someone at least calls by Friday. If not, then I will be forced to make calls of my own. I hate this uncertainty. I had plans to go to Mackinaw in a month that may be aborted now, and that makes me angry. Well, Midas can kiss my wrist if they think I am going without a fight. Well, Acorn Automotive can kiss my wrist if they think I am going without a fight.

And all this talk I did about kicking certain losers to the curb was a bunch of baloney. I managed to delete the reject's number out of my phone like 3 or 4 times. I kept adding him back to my contact list. Now I got rid of him on AIM, so I think I will follow thru this time. I refuse to let solitude make me weak.

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Sigh. There is nothing to do in the house. I am at my wit's end. All I am asking for is a little human interaction. Sigh.

Well, at least I get to interact with humans at work tomorrow. Kathy left town today, so that means I have to work with the new owners tomorrow. Yippee! Sigh. I have laundry to do. I really have nothing new to report besides the fact that I deleted his number out of my directory on my cell and I also blocked and removed him from my AIM. I am finally making steps in the right direction. Now if only I could score a 2nd part time job, start working out regularly, and date again, life would be perfect. Since none of the aforementioned components of perfection will become reality, I will settle for mediocrity. Sigh.

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Ever wonder why you feel so crappy when it rains? My spirits are always dampened by rainfall. It's almost like the rain is my escape. I rarely cry or show any emotion, so when it rains, my tears are camoflaged...

Anyway, I had a good week and weekend. I got to spend time with Maryann, Kristen, Laura, and Sarah- something I have been unable to do frequently in the past. We had a good time. I went out to eat with Maryann and watched a couple episodes of the Golden Girls. Then on Friday, I hung out with Kristen and Laura...we ate dinner, went shopping, and got Slurpees. Afterward, we came back to the house and watched Center Stage. They didn't like it, but I do. I think it's precious. Then, last night Sarah and I had dinner at O'Kelleys and watched White Noise at her place. She came out to see the house after dinner and said she really liked the house. I do too. Kristen and Laura kept going on and on about how much of a bachelor pad this is, and how old some of the furnishings were. I was ready to choke them.

Anyway, I hope this week goes by quickly...I am going home on Friday....YEA!!!!

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I still want to trip children with sticks and catapult small felines into deciduous trees, but it's not as strong of a feeling as it was yesterday. I think things are beginning to look up...slowly but surely.

I am about sick and tired of Kiera...I have tried to call her for the past two days, and all I have gotten was the run-around. Man, screw that. I will stop wasting my time calling her if she is going to act like that to me. I am supposed to be one of her best friends. I bet if I was a free-loading loser like some people I know who have not been employed since the Bush Jr. administration, I would not be getting blown off.

That was kind of mean. But shit. It is f-ing true. Didn't somebody say the truth will set you free? I don't feel very free after having told the harsh truth, but doggone it, I feel better.

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Today was the first day of my summer class. I don't think it is going to be as easy as I had hoped. There are a few familiar faces in the class....none that I am friendly with, but I have had them in other classes. Ben is in the class too- he dated a friend and resident of mine all within the past year and a half. He is really strange. He moved today before class began and sat next to me. I hope I am not supercharged this summer. I am a mutant magnet, afterall.

In other news, I talked to him last night for all of 45 seconds on AIM. He logged off shortly after initiating the conversation. I was awfully lonely last night and almost called him in the middle of a weak moment for what the Lord knows would have been the end of me. Specifics aren't important, but my logic for calling him was out of pure desperation. In the words of someone smart, desperation is a stinky cologne. Indeed, anonymous genious. Indeed.

In other news that does not reek of pathetic desperation, Laura, Kristen and I are planning a min-vacation to Mackinaw Island. I think it will be splendid, really. I need to leave Mount Pleasant immediately before I poke sticks into the spokes of children passing by on Huffy's and begin hurling kittens into deciduous trees. I am getting restless and pissy. When I get pissy, people and other forms of life get maimed.

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